Kitten Steps
by thebestthing13
Summary: All of the Jellicles are broken in some way. But slowly, they are taking Kitten Steps to healing.
1. Chapter 1

It's nightime.

The moon hangs high in the sky.

We would sit under the moon. We'd talk.

I had a reason to be sacred then. Now, when it's a different him and a different me, I can be fearless. But, at the same time, I can't be. The scars hurt, both the mental and physical ones. Bombalurina isn't here. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. My sister would know what to do. I don't.

"Demeter," He says softly.

"What?" My words are sharp. One of the other cats would flinch. They treat me like a bomb, except for Bomba and him.

"Something's wrong." It isn't a question. It's a statement. Maybe that's why I'm here, he doesn't dodge around when he gets to a wall. He faces it.

"You know what's wrong."

"You're just saying that to avoid answering."

"Maybe."

I'm rigid in my spot. So is he, but it's a different kind of rigid. His is the rigid of a trained fighter, mine is the rigid of someone who's afraid.

"You know me, Demeter."

"Not well enough for me to start spilling out my soul to you!" I spat I stand up and take a few paces away from him.

"Because it's only your sister you trust isn't it? Don't lie now."

Don't lie now. A memory comes back. He is yelling at me as I cower in a corner of his lair. I have slipped out for some fresh air, but he thinks otherwise.

"_Don't lie to me, Demeter!" He shrieks. His paw is drawn back. He is going to magic me into oblivion. Even if I tell him the truth, he'll do it. I'm terrified. I don't understand how I could love him, but at the same time, I do._

"It was Bomba who saved me." I whisper. He can't hear it. No one can. I turn around to face him. He becomes him, and I can't look. I turn back around and bound away.

I know he's trying to help me, but it hurts too much right now.

I know he's behind me. I'm not Mr. Mistoffelees, or one of the twins, but I know when someone is behind me.

"He said I was beautiful. He said he loved me. He promised me that someday, we-we..."

He places one paw on my shoulder. I touch it.

"We would rule all of the Jellicle cats. And the rest of the cats. And the pollicles, the pekes, the poms, the humans, everyone. Everyone, Munkustrap."

He's closer, only a step, but closer.

"That's why you went with him, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"What about your sister?"

"I don't know."

I turn to face him. He loves me, I know it. But I'm not sure if I love him back, or if I ever will. But I know that I'm taking kitten steps to finally healing, and he will help me.


	2. Chapter 2

I saw her. And I did nothing.

Nothing.

I could have saved her, I could have. But I didn't.

I walked into the cave. Winter was coming, and it was cold and damp. I carried the loot in, laying it next to to a large boulder. I looked over, and I saw her. She was curled up on the ground, her fur was tangled and her coat was muddy. She looked up. Her eyes were cloudy, but brightened when she saw me.

"Mungojerrie?" Her voice was soft.

Before I could answer, Macavity walked in. I cringed slightly, a kitten-like habit he was constanly reminding me of this.

"The loot?"

"There." I pointed.

"Well, I'm not gonna get it."

I almost hissed, but I reached over and grabbed the sack. I handed him. He opened it.

"Yes, ah yes. I must go now." He left, his tail flicking across Demeter's face. Shaking, she stood up, angry heat in her eyes.

"Why?" Her voice trembeled.

"Power." My voice was soft. Her eyes bored into a way that reminded me of Rumpleteazer when she was a kitten.

"Does your sister know?"

"No. And I'll never tell her. I don't want her in this."

"How long?"

"A little while before you."

"Oh." She leaned on the rock.

"Look, don't be mad at me. It isn't my fault." I touched her face. She slapped my hand away, eyes burning.

"I hate you. You're scum, _Mungojerrie. _You aren't even courageous enough to tell your own sister." She turned to pace and fell. Her body looked weak and small against the cold stone.

"Let me help you."

She forced herself up, her eyes stairing me down.

"Unless you're gonna get me out of here, I don't want your help." She snarled. I backed into the wall. "GET OUT!" She screamed. I turned away and bounded off.

That moment has haunted me to this day. Macavity's dark eyes wove through my dreams. I wanted out, but I was a prisoner.


End file.
